Unsafe and Unsure

I don't listen to a lot of Christian radio. I don't listen to a lot of radio period. I prefer to cycle through the myriad CD's I have at my disposal. But for the past few days I've been driving the car without the CD player. Thus this morning's foray into Christian radio.

One of the first songs I heard was by the band Audio Adrenaline. It is called Believer. It starts like this: "I want to live my life unsafe, unsure, but not afraid. What I want is to give all I got somehow; giving up, letting go of control right now."

I don't know if I can really describe the way I felt when I heard these words, but I do want to take a minute to explain why it made me feel the way it did. Yesterday, I gave my notice at Sears.

I know what you're thinking, but hear me out. This was by no means a snap decision. Andrea and I have been talking and praying about this for weeks now. I/we haven't been able to devote the kind of time we needed to prepare for our journey to Thailand. And after bringing it before our Bible study group, it was decided that I needed to resign. Immediately. I will be finishing out the current pay period, but as of the 16th I will no longer be a Sears employee. Hence, the title.

We're officially living unsafe and unsure, but not afraid. Unsafe and unsure because there is little to no common sense in this decision. But, it's a decision we have felt for awhile was the right one, and it's a decision that has been confirmed by several others. And we have a lot of that famous peace that passes all understanding. We are not afraid.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.

We're devoting all our energy now to getting ready for moving overseas. It's unsafe and it's unsure. It's not scary, but it's certainly exciting.

A Mountaintop Experience

I climbed Spencer Butte last Friday. The last time I climbed it was probably thirty years ago. I don't remember it being that difficult last time...

Spencer Butte rises from about 1300 feet at the base to a little over 2000 feet at the summit. There are two trails up; one is about half a mile mostly straight up, the less steep one stretches on for a little over a mile. Among other things, I discovered that I am hilariously out of shape. That's not all that I discovered.

There is a trail intersection about halfway up. It's a convenient place to turn around if the summit seems too much. I was already quite winded by the time I got to that point. But I had no intention of quitting that easily, so I took a short breather and continued on. The trail immediately got steeper.

I slowed my pace. After all, I concluded that I wasn't out to set any speed records, I was just out to finish the climb. Even a mild slowing of the pace made the trek easier, though I still found myself stopping more than I would have liked to. As I came to the last probably 100 feet of elevation, the trail all but disappeared. It was replaced by more or less bare rock face. I picked my way through, trying to find the most easily traversable path that I could yet never seeming to come any closer to the summit. It seemed an eternity before I finally crested the last rock and gazed over the top of the butte. I had made it.

I rested for a few minutes, then began my descent. As I looked down, there was the trail that I had missed. I made my way to it and followed it downward. A couple of times I turned back to look, and was amazed to not see the trail I had just walked along. It was hidden, somehow only visible on the way down.

There's a few pretty obvious metaphors at work here.

We've got some mountains coming up on our horizon right now. At the beginning of January, Andrea's job came to an end. Now, in just a couple of weeks, the folks we've been house-sitting for will come home. The idea for the timing on both was that we figured we'd be in Thailand by that time. That has now changed as well, and we're looking (hopefully) more toward late spring or early summer. We've got a tough, uphill road ahead of us. Sometimes we have a difficult time seeing the path we're supposed to be on. And with every bit of progress, it seems that the goal moves further away from us. We can see the destination, but it continues to elude us.

However, when we look back we can see the trail that God has had us on. It's definitely clearer in hindsight. And honestly, slowing down our departure time a little might make raising what's left of our support a little less stress filled. After all, it's the end goal that is important. And we don't think God wants us to give up on following the call. It really is all about timing. The point is to make it there, not burn ourselves out trying to do it too quickly (that's a very hard thing for us to admit, but it's true). And every step is a step closer to our summit.

Please join us in praying for more partners. Please join us in praying for perseverance (not patience, that's a really dangerous thing to pray for).  Please join us in praying for wisdom and strength and peace through the process. 

We Have Our Heading

It's been awhile since Captain Jack Sparrow made an appearance in the blog.

This line comes from the second movie. Captain Jack has been having a bit of trouble deciding where he wants to go. His compass leads him to whatever he wants most; the problem is he can't decide. It's not so much that he doesn't know what he wants, it's more that his concentration is slipping. There are too many other things vying for his attention.

Enter miss Elizabeth Swann. She has sought out Captain Jack in order to convince him to help her rescue her beloved Will Turner. Contrary to Jack, she knows exactly what she wants. Seeing this as a golden opportunity, Jack gives her the compass. He sees that she has a definite direction. She provides his clarity; he calls out "Mr. Gibbs, we have our heading."

We have our heading.

We just returned from a week at Pioneers, working through our final trainings and requirements for the mission. It was truly an amazing time. Last time we were at Pioneers, it was a different feel. That time was essentially a week long job interview. We spent the first four days in anxiety, wondering if they were going to accept our application. While we were able to make some connections, it was a lot of stress.

This week felt very different. Instead of a bunch of people together trying to get a job, we were a bunch of people together who are waiting for the chance to put the call of God into action. We went from a group of strangers to a family in just a few short days. There were three other families that we had met when we were at our previous Explore gathering two years ago, and it was really nice to reconnect with them. They're all headed to the Middle East. But we also got to meet several new families on the launch pad. Two families we got very close to will be heading to Southeast Asia and the Pacific. Our boys became friends with a young man who will be only a few hours flight from us when we finally arrive. They're already making plans to visit each other. We met folks that are waiting to go to various parts of pretty much every continent.

The difference for us is that there is no confusion over our heading. We know what we are called to, and where we are called to. But there have been a lot of changes that have come upon us in the past several weeks. Along with everything else, this week renewed our clarity. It renewed our strength. Meeting with other launching missionaries is the boost we needed.

We have completed everything the mission requires of us prior to departure. All that remains now is to raise the remainder of our funding, and await the readiness of the team. We have Visas and other official paperwork to apply for (timing is critical, not too soon and not waiting too long), and immunizations to get (somehow that sounds better than shots). And we have goodbyes to say to friends and family. All that amidst the excitement that we really will be going.

We have our heading.

Launch Sequence

The first week of November we will be heading to Orlando. We're off to what is more or less the final training we have with Pioneers before we head overseas. This one, the kids will be coming along for. And in the "That's Not Fair" department, they will spend their week playing games and going to DisneyWorld, while Andrea and I sit in meetings. Personally, I think it should be the other way around.

A week from now (right before we fly south) we will be hosting a Thai dinner at our church. It's a time to connect with folks and again share what we hope to be doing in the none-too-distant future in Isaan. We have been invited to speak again at the Seattle church we spoke at earlier this year. Another old friend is working on a date when I can come speak at the church he currently pastors. And we have yet another chance to share with a small group of congregations in the eastern part of Oregon.

This week in Orlando is going to provide us a bit of refreshment. It's a chance to connect with our coach and others at the mission who can help and encourage us. And we're hoping it gives us a little push as well, a little extra boost. A little spiritual fuel to push us forward.

The week in Orlando is called "Launch". It's symbolic of the mission/church launching us forward into our calling. Launching us into our field of service. It means that were on the launch pad awaiting final instructions. Awaiting the final countdown. Getting fueled up.

212

"Sometimes I get the feeling that the two biggest problems in America today are making ends meet and making meetings end." - Robert Orben

Yesterday, at the place where I work, we had a mandatory training. For the most part, it was five hours of my life that I can never have back. The most useful idea of the morning came in the first ten minutes. Since I don't think the concept has a copyright, I'm going to use it here.

What is 212 minus 211? One. A very small - almost insignificant - number. No big deal, right? What happens to water at 211⁰? It gets really, really, really hot. What happens at 212⁰? It boils. (For those of our friends that are more familiar with the Metric System, substitute 99 and 100 respectively.) That one degree makes a huge difference.

The idea is that there is nothing insignificant. Any number, no matter how small, is important. Significant. Vital. Worthwhile.

"If you think you're too small to make a difference, you haven't spent a night with a mosquito." - African Proverb.

Blessings and Work

A couple of weeks ago, some good friends of ours gave our family two of their old iPods. Just gave them to us. They had upgraded and wanted us to have something to load language learning stuff, or spoken word Bibles in Thai, or whatever. Music if we wanted to. It was a really cool gift and we are truly thankful.
 

Now, if only we could make them work. 

We already have a couple of MP3 players, but they’re the off-brand ones. My computer system is non-Apple. My sound files are all incompatible. So right now I have two really cool iPods and no way to load anything on that the iPod will read. I spent a good portion of last evening trying to find some way to make them recognize the files I loaded. Any suggestions?

I’ve come to realize that’s how blessings work a lot of the time. Blessings come, but not without us needing to do a little bit of the work. Very seldom does God just hand us a blessing, and not ask us to contribute something to make it reach its fullest potential. And sometimes, we have to do a bit of digging to really find all of the layers of hidden blessings. 

I don’t think it’s supposed to be too easy. I don’t think I’d like it if it was. Part of it is that God wants to grow us through the challenges that accompany blessing. But part of it is that God wants to partner with us, give us some ownership, rather than just dumping gifts in our lap. 

We have been given the blessing of partnering with God to take his love to a people that has never experienced that love. We’ve been blessed with a purpose. That purpose also requires us to do something. In order to be a part of their culture and share ours, we have to learn their culture. In order to find bridges between their beliefs and ours, we have to learn their beliefs. And in order to communicate with them, we have to learn their language.

Just as soon as we can load it on the iPods.

Please Continue to Hold...

Earlier this month we transferred our Internet service to another address. It took a great deal more time and effort than I think it should have, but it is what it is. We were without Internet service for about two weeks. I had to make several phone calls in order to get things set up. Phone calls where the conversation itself lasted for all of three or four minutes, while the hold time was considerably longer. Throughout, a recorded loop continued to remind me how important my call was and how many services the company could provide. Somewhat ironically, I was reminded again and again how much easier it would be to accomplish whatever it was that I was trying to accomplish if I would simply go to the website. 

It’s been said that waiting is the worst part of anything. We couldn’t agree more. That’s where we are right now. We’re waiting. We’re hoping and anticipating that in January we will finally be heading to Thailand to join the ministry that God is doing in the Isaan region. And, much like the whole connecting the Internet thing, we’re not sure why it’s taking as long as it is. We’re ready, how come the process is moving so slowly?

Right now, we’re in the Partner Development phase. One of those things typical mission families would rather not have to do. We’re asking for money. Well… not so much asking for money as trying to share the call we’ve been given and inviting people to partner with us. Sharing our needs and hoping that people will agree to help meet those needs. That partnership comes largely in the form of finances, but also of prayer and of emotional support. 

People all around us know we hope to leave in January. I guess it’s wrong to just assume that people also know what that involves. One of the hardest things in the world to do is ask people to give you money, to ask people to sacrifice a portion of their finances to help you meet your financial needs. That’s exactly what we’re doing. 

We need monthly support. We need financial support coming in every month to meet our individual living expenses; rent and utilities, groceries, insurance, and savings. We need financial support to meet our business and ministry expenses; transportation, visas and work permits, supplies, and country fees. And we need finances to meet the costs of departure; training, shipping of clothes and belongings, home set up, and travel. It’s a lot to ask for.

Right now, we’re about 25% of the way to meeting our complete financial need. We have a long way to go if we’re indeed going to leave in January. Want to be a part of what we’re doing?