Perspective

Honestly, it took me about an hour to admit the value of this episode.

Last week we took our car to the shop for the 150,000 mile check. The brakes were good, the serpentine belt was fine, the shocks were good. Everything checked out fine. Well, almost everything. I had a screw embedded in my right rear tire. The mechanic where we took the car didn’t do tires, so we headed to Les Schwab for their Free Flat Repair. (Note: This situation has been resolved, but it’s still a good object lesson story).

They pulled the tire. The mechanic came to me: “I can’t fix your flat. There’s not enough tread left and the patch won’t hold.” I knew the tires were close to needing replaced. “What I can do is sell you a used tire. It’ll get you along for a few days.” $40. I told him to go ahead. He came back a few minutes later. “I can’t sell you one tire. You have All-Wheel Drive. I have to sell you four matching tires. I only have one used one.” We went to look at prices. Now, when we bought the vehicle we didn’t realize that: 1) it has 17 inch tires, and 2) 17 inch tires are expensive. Four tires, mounted and balanced: $908.20.

As calmly and as pleasantly as I could, I told him to put on the donut spare.

As I drove away from Les Schwab, I was angry. Furious. Livid. I was supposed to meet the rest of the family at a small mall for coffee. I was not in the mood for that, but I had no choice. Sitting, drinking coffee, I was like a little black storm cloud. I was not at all pleasant to be around. We got up and went to look at a decorative fountain while Andrea did some window shopping. As I was standing, seething, drinking my coffee, a homeless woman walked up.

“Are you having a good day sir?” Making only limited eye contact I answered, “No, quite frankly, I’m not.” I had hoped that would deter her from sticking around… it didn’t. She proceeded to chat with me, telling me some of her life. She was pleasant and articulate, but I was simply not in the mood. I didn’t even really pretend to listen. But then our eyes met. She smiled at me and put her hand on my shoulder. She said, “But you love God, don’t you. And you know that God loves you, and that God is going to take care of whatever you need.”

Seriously, God? I thought. Really? You decided to send a homeless woman who has almost nothing but her faith to remind me of mine? For the past forty five minutes or so, I had been telling myself (unconvincingly) it could be worse. I was hard pressed to define how, but I suppose I was trying. Then, I was offered perspective from a woman who has far less than I do.

Throughout the journey of the past year, God has repeatedly found ways to provide for us when we needed it most, and it’s usually come from unexpected and unlikely sources. But I suppose that’s where God does the best work; in those times and those areas where it’s obvious that we have nothing to do with it. Those times and those areas where we can’t claim any credit.

I look at where we are and what we need to make it to Thailand. I look at where we are and what we need to make it through the next few days and weeks. And I have no idea how that’s going to happen. But for some inexplicable reason – no… it’s not inexplicable, it’s from experience – I know that we’re going to get what we need, when we need it. And like it always happens, we’re probably going to receive a new perspective from an unlikely source.

Mannaroni and Cheese

During our small group this week, we were talking about our progress with preparations for going to Thailand. We talked about our financial challenges and our looking for work and for housing. We were talking about how we feel like we’re moving, but we’re not always sure it’s forward. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we’re going anywhere. One of our friends made the comment: “You’re wandering your own wilderness. Macaroni and Cheese is your Manna.” I don’t mind Mac and Cheese, especially if it’s the good stuff. Not a fan of the three-for-a-dollar version. I like it with real grated cheese and little hot dogs chopped up inside. Not so sure I could eat it every day, but it is kind of symbolic.

In a way, we are kind of going through what the Children of Israel went through when they were in their forty year desert time. We know where the destination is, we just can’t seem to get there. We know we’ll get there eventually, but we don’t really know when or how. And sometimes, we’re guilty of doing the same kinds of complaining. “Have you forgotten us, God?” “This isn’t what we had in mind, God.” “I know the perfect solution to this, God.”

I hope God is more patient with us…

It’s hard to keep focused on a promise that doesn’t always seem to be in reach. It’s hard to keep focused on the future when it feels like you can barely get through the here and now. It’s hard to wait for something you feel like you’re ready for. I really can’t find fault with the Israelites for nagging God. Honestly, we’re been doing our own nagging.

Towards the end of their roundabout Palestinian tour, we get a few glimpses of the depth of their frustration. They are so done with wandering. And the people let their anger out pretty dramatically. So does God. It’d be nice if it were gentle reminders that everything is under control, but it’s not. It’s a really irritated parental “quit pestering me!” Again and again. We’re getting the same thing from God; thankfully it’s much gentler. Frequent reminders that we really are heading toward our call - toward our Promised Land - and that God really is going before us.

"Meesa Back!"

Jar Jar Binks. Star Wars, Episode One.

Qui Gan meets Jar Jar as he’s running through the fields of Naboo. Although he’s reluctant, Jar Jar lets Qui Gan convince him to take them to the underwater Gungan City. It seems that Jar Jar was banished. But he decides there’s no sense in fighting it; he needs to go home. He announces his return by shouting “Meesa back!” (Editorial note: This blog is in no way meant to validate the racism that many feel is present in the Jar Jar character; it is simply meant to illustrate the difficulty that we sometimes have with going home.)

People used to ask me if I would ever want to pastor in my home town. My answer was always no. I figured people who knew me when I was growing up would never take me seriously as a pastor. “I knew the pastor when he used to rock and roll.” That whole “prophet in his home town” thing. Looking back, I think I was more afraid that I hadn’t really changed.

Fast forward an hour or so into the movie. Jar Jar is having a chat with Boss Nass, the one who banished him. Boss Nass credits Jar Jar with uniting the Gungans and the Naboo. He is credited with making peace between the two peoples. And Boss Nass promotes Jar Jar – clumsy, bumbling Jar Jar – to “Bombad General”. None of Jar Jar’s previous problems is noted, just his current accomplishments. Isn’t that really the case with us most of the time too?

I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock and Roll). We all used to “Rock and Roll” in our own way. We have all been rebellious people. The Bride of Christ used to rock and roll. But if we can claim anything through Christ it is this: we’ve been changed. Maybe not who we are, but the way we are. And while we probably still see ourselves as bumbling and clumsy and unfit to promote Jesus with our lives, God sees what we have truly become. And for God, it is precisely because of our imperfection that we are made able to serve.

Who says you can’t go home again? You can. People are far more likely to validate the changes they see in you than you are yourself.

This is Your Hometown

I’m back living in Eugene now. In a few weeks, Andrea and the boys will be joining me. I’m back in my hometown after almost twenty-five years. Several songs and thoughts have been going through my mind: Bruce Springteen’s “My Hometown”, the thought “You can’t go home again”, James Taylor and J.D. Souther’s “Her Town Too”… and of course the passage where Jesus talks about a prophet being honored everywhere except in his home town. Whew! Thankfully, I’m not a prophet. (That also brought to mind Nick Lowe singing “I Knew the Bride [When She Used to Rock and Roll]. More on that in a future blog).

Many people have asked if moving here means that we’re not planning on Thailand anymore. Not at all! We’re still working towards that. What it means is that it isn’t coming as quickly as we would like. It means that we want to take time to help both our mom’s get situated before we move ten time zones away. And, most importantly, it’s moving where we feel God wants us to be for the time being. Nobody in their right mind would move only to move again. Right?

I had kind of an epiphany this morning in church. We’re working our way through “The Story” as I’m sure many of you are. At one point the pastor talked about how God told Abraham, “Pack your stuff and move. I’m not telling you exactly where, you just have to do it.” And of course, Abraham did. The pastor then went on to say how crazy that was. He then asked if any of us would be crazy enough to do that. I turned to the person sitting next to me (who knows our situation) and chuckled. “Yes, in fact, I might have an idea of how Abraham must have felt.”

For whatever reason, God told us to move to Oregon. God told us to move to the Eugene / Springfield area. Why? I don’t know! But we’re both pretty certain that’s what he told us to do. In a few weeks, Andrea and the boys will be moving as well, bringing all our belongings with them. Hopefully I will have found us someplace to live by then.

Abraham and Sarah moved because they had faith. Now, I’m not going to say that my faith is anything close to Abraham’s. But maybe this is a test of just where our faith is. This is a pretty minor move, Idaho to Oregon; housing notwithstanding. But… if we can’t trust God with this small move, how can we possibly trust him with the big one that’s coming up?

Cross Town Traffic

Being from the West Coast of the U.S. (and for awhile a citizen of Seattle), I’ve always been kind of a Jimi Hendrix fan. And when I started thinking about this blog, the Hendrix song was playing in my mind. There’s really no connection between the blog and the song, other than the title. But this past several months has been a lot like trying to drive across town.

In Twin Falls, the main street of the city (really the only main street) is called “Blue Lakes”. It runs about five miles north and south through the center of town. And it is a rare occasion to make it from one end of Blue Lakes to the other without stopping for at least one red light. More often than not you end up stopping for most if not all of them. If you’re driving from one end to the other, that means about eight traffic lights. 

It can seem like forever.

Last October, we began our journey towards Thailand. It started out really quick, like a jackrabbit start from a green light. But, we had to stop for the next light, and it was a long one. We could see traffic going crossways from us, we could see people in the turn lane going past and heading off in their desired directions. And still we sat. Finally the light turned green and we were off, only to stop again shortly. More traffic moving that wasn’t us, more waiting. Stop and go. Stop and go. Frustration at the light that never seemed to turn. 

We’ve had several stop lights that we’ve sat at for seeming eternities, and we’ve had several times of traveling at comparatively high rates of speed. And the light always seems to turn green just at the time we begin to think we simply can’t sit any longer. But our direction has not changed. We’re still headed toward Thailand, we’re just not getting there as fast as we’d like. 

Some of you might be wondering if we’re ever going to really get there. We wonder the same thing sometimes. But we’re not giving up. Please don’t give up on us. We’ll make it, but right now we just seem to be hitting every light.

A Different Kind of Footprint

I got this from a friend (Okay, I took it from his Facebook). Like many of you, one of my favorite poems of all time is “Footprints”. I think that’s really the way it is. Jesus carries us in those times when we feel like we simply cannot go on. However, I also think it is one of the most overused poems of all time. When we’re going through difficult times and circumstances, it can be kind of hard to feel or even envision God carrying us. Well-meaning Christians throw this around like spiritual Prozac; “Remember, when you go through trials, it means God is carrying you.”

And, if we’re being honest; it implies that we’re always walking right beside the Lord, going the way he wants us to go; that the only work God really has to do is get us through life’s troubles. I’m not sure there’s a lot of theological accuracy in that viewpoint. While the above picture is a comic, I think it’s probably very true as well that God is sometimes dragging us.

The Spirit is pretty good about getting us where he wants us. Sometimes it’s gentle maneuvering. Sometimes it’s a shift in our wants and desires. Sometimes it’s being dragged.

Those of us who have kids: think about it like this. You’re heading in a specific direction with a specific time frame. You’ve got a goal in mind. The problem is that you’ve got the kids with you. They want to stop and look at everything along the way. That’s not always a problem, but sometimes it is. And we end up kind of dragging our kids along in order to get done what we need to have happen. I’m quite sure that’s how it can be with us and God.

Our family has been through a lot over the past couple years. And while I’d love to believe that Jesus was carrying us, I wonder if he wasn’t more dragging us. We knew we were called to something, but we thought it was something far different. Southeast Asia was not on our radar. And yet, here we are, preparing for a missionary journey to the literal other side of the globe. Was God carrying us through difficulties or dragging us along to get us where he wants us?

There can be a lot of whining and complaining when we drag our kids, especially if they don’t know where they’re being dragged to. But usually, once they get there they end up enjoying it and seeing the value in it. We had no idea where the Holy Spirit was leading us, and yet here we are excited beyond belief at the privilege we have before us. Partnering with Christ and taking the Good News where it’s never been heard before.

When we die, we need to look for the footprints. They’re the difficult times, the times Jesus carried us. But maybe we need to look for the ruts too, the times we were dragged. They might just lead to something good.

God Moments

We just spent the past two weeks touring I-5 between Eugene and Seattle. It was great seeing friends and family that we hadn’t seen in awhile, and it was cool experiencing God’s amazing sense of humor. We had several “God Moments”, but one stands out. (Editor’s note: “God Moments” refers to those times when God shows up in surprising ways).

I had sent out a request via email for folks to talk to their pastor/mission committee/anyone who would listen and ask if there was a chance we could share a bit of the vision God has given us for the people of Thailand. Several responded, among them, my aunt. She had passed our name on to a man I knew from a Bible Study 20+ years ago (Kip), who had passed us on to another gentleman from the Mission Committee of their church (John). They wanted to meet with us on Sunday the 15^th.

On Sunday, we went to this church – Shoreline Community Church in Coos Bay – without my aunt. Now mind you, I haven’t seen Kip in more than 20 years and I’ve never met John. But we trusted that God would do what needed to be done. In this, we weren’t disappointed!

Upon arriving (unannounced), we were given a bulletin. The Scripture for the morning included this passage from Romans 15: “It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else’s foundation. Rather, as it is written: ‘Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand.’” This is one of Pioneers’ theme verses. We were also given a “Welcome Gift”. It was a DVD talking about the wonders of God’s universe, subtitled in Thai. There was fudge too.

We knew we were in the right place. However, we still didn’t know how we were going to find Kip or John.

After the final song, the pastor stood back up. He started talking about a fund-raising dinner. Then he asked the organizer to come up and talk about it… Kip. Kip spoke for a few minutes, then directed the man that everyone was supposed to pay to stand up… John.

I could almost hear God chuckling.

We received a couple more churches that are supporting us, and more family and friends as well. It was a wonderful trip. For those we were able to see, it was wonderful! For those we missed this time, you haven’t entirely dodged that bullet. But perhaps more than anything else, this two weeks was another chance for God to confirm and affirm that we’re going where we’re supposed to be going. Our hearts are more than ever with the people of Thailand, and our hopes to be there soon remain undimmed.

Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers, and for standing with us as we raise the necessary finances to soon be overseas.